ever heard this one: "i'm praying for you that God will_______________(fill in the blank)."
it's rampant within what i call the Outwardly Demonstrative Body of Christ. i've encountered countless people who, although they have no idea of my favorite color, what my Mama's name is, or where(and when) i choose to attend the equivalent of "church service," let me know--without me asking, exactly and specifically what they are praying for me to receive.
now, don't get me wrong. i'm big on prayer. i'm HUGE on it, matter of fact. i believe it is the single most powerful way of manifesting dreams and affirming the call of God inside us all. it is an intensely personal, direct way of talking to the Creative Force of the entire Universe; the one way that no one else can interfere with or get in between. even when one has no cell phone, internet access, or pen 'n paper; even when one is locked alone in prison or on a deserted island, it is the one form of communication that cannot be blocked or prevented.
so it is an invaluable conversation that--in many cases--should be kept between the Pray-er and God.
but oh, it's so hard to do that, isn't it? the gossipy, judgmental nature of human beings often times transforms the intensely personal conversation of prayer into simply another opportunity to impose one's philosophy, perspective, or judgment onto another, under the auspices of "Praying for you."
cases in point: have you ever asked an old person to keep you in prayer? if you're smart, you have. here's how that conversation goes.
Granny: "how you doin', baby?"
You: "i'm working through some things on my job. can you pray for me?"
Granny: "i sure will baby. i'm gonna keep you in prayer, and what God brings you
to, He'll bring you
through!"
oh they keep it plain and simple. and, most of the time, they keep the specifics to themselves, between them and God, and usually they pray for "His will to be done."
you gotta love that.
in this modern day, however, the conversation is different. many so-called "Christians" could care less about amplifying the good energy you're desiring from God by adding their quiet, personal voice to a small army of well-wishers with your best interests at heart, and more about seizing an opportunity to offer their psycho-analysis as Confessors who can help steer you in the direction they perceive is right for you by offering to pray. one must beware of those who try to insert themselves into others lives as the self-appointed surrogate of God's "will."
you know a tree by the fruit it bears. how do you know the Judgment-as-Prayer folk? by learning how to translate the Christianspeak. let's go with some sample phrases. this will give you an introductory sample to meditate on as we continue to explore the ways in which we try to tell people--directly and indirectly--OUR plans for their lives, using
God as the cover.
Phrase:"you know, i've been praying that God will bless you in
this job like never before."
Translation:"i don't know why you won't just keep a damn job like the rest of us. if you feel something isn't right, you get up and leave. i don't do that. i may hate my job, but i'm not going to quit, so i want you to be miserable like me and just stay there so i won't feel bad about my decision to do the same."
Phrase:"i've been praying that you are truly (really, honestly) happy in this relationship."
Translation:"i don't think you should be with this person, because i think i know you better than anyone, so i think ya'll aren't right for each other. but since you
say you're happy, then you're probably pretending you are, like i am, for the outside world. so maybe if i tell you this, then you'll pretend even harder, and fool yourself into believing you are, even though i know you aren't--'cuz i
KNOW you."
Phrase:"i've been praying that the Lord would open up your eyes so that you can see who your true friends really are."
Translation:"you act like you don't know me anymore. yeah, i know i complain all the time about my situation, and you told me that's depressing to you, but hell, everybody else has cut me off and i need somebody to vent with and dump on. answer the phone when i call you and sit on the other end while i complain about all the things that are wrong with me and why i can't catch a break. that's what 'friends' are for."
Phrase:"i've been praying that you will listen to what God has been trying to tell you."
Translation:"i don't understand what the hell you're doing, so that must mean you're lost--because you owe me an explanation for your action that i can understand and approve of. so why don't you ask
me what God wants you to do so i can tell you my opinion and you can follow it to the letter."
the danger of this outward offering of specific prayer disclosure is that it is often bundled, in a similar fashion as say, phone and internet, with "Prophecy." in this case, people get flashes about your life that they share--without you asking. here are some sample phrases from the "prophets." you may have heard them before. for the fun of it, i've included some evolved responses that i usually give, of course, not suggesting you use them, but feel free to, if they tickle your fancy.
Phrase:"i need to tell you this: The Lord told me that you are my Husband/Wife."
Translation 1:"i think you're freaking hot. i don't know you that well, but i think you'd make some good babies, and you're responsible and i think my family would like you. come on, let's do this!"
Translation 2:"why in the world are you with the person you're with? i look better than them. i'm smarter than they are. we would get along better. i'm better for you. what do they have that i don't have? you know we used to date and i told all my friends i had you on lock, now you're running around looking all lovey-dovey with someone else. i hope ya'll mess up real bad so i can say i told you so and you can come crawling back and i can have a one up on you."
Response:"that's great. when The Lord tells me the same thing, i'll give you a call."
Phrase:"uoy ot gniyas mi lleh eht tahw swonk dog neve kniht tnod i." (whispered into your ear, followed by) "that was from God to you. he'll reveal what it means."
Translation:(just read the line backwards first) "i'm trying to impress upon you that i have a spiritual gift that is so deep you have to pay attention, because i'm delivering it in tongues. even if you don't get it, you'll think i'm so deep that you'll listen to whatever i tell you you should do from here on out."
Response:"uhm...repita en englis, por favor?"
i had an old acquaintance once that owed me a pretty significant amount of money. over time, i guess they forgot they owed me. i saw them at church, and they came up, years later, grabbed both my hands and told me The Lord had a "message for me." i said, "okay." so they leaned in and whispered some garbled strangeness with no discernable pattern or syntax into my ear, leaned back and looked me in the eye, and nodded with a smile. i swear, i almost said, "Yes...Yes...The Lord just told me you're paying me back my money tonight," but i didn't. at that moment, i just let it all go, including the debt in my mind (hmmm, is that what God was telling me to do?). i knew, even then, that the need to impose one's self and thoughts on others was starting to get out of hand.
in closing, it's important to remember that the best of wishes are the ones that go unannounced. when we love people, we pray for them, most of the time in secret. it's one thing if you request specificity from someone in prayer. that's understandable because we do speak things into existence. it's one thing is you ask for thoughts, or opinions, or the perspective of a person with a prophetic gift (i know people who are quite prophetic, and they rarely bombard people who don't ask for their thoughts).
it's another thing when you push yourself onto others and try to shape and mold their lives, and use Prayer as a way to coerce them. those are the types of prayers you should keep inside your head.
some things are best left unspoken.
Labels: prayer
